Updated: Oct 3, 2020

Do you ever faced with this side of modern life, when you ,as a woman , feel pressure to be slim? I bet you do... Don't know how much do you feel this pressure in your life but l feel it almost half of my life as l have soft feminine figure from age 15 and all the time felt uncomfortable with my body cause other girls around me were slimmer.

Yes, I know, basically it's a question of self confidence and self esteem, but, to be honest, it took me 15 years to begin finally love myself and my body as l am ( and yeah, and l am still getting comments that my body is too full and soft when my BMI is still okay!). I was very slim for a few years in my life, but the reason was hard manual job, moreover, i often worked 12 hours shifts and every night was going home by bicycle cause didn't have enough money to buy a car. Later my life totally changed and now, after 5 years I weigh almost 10 kilos more and don't see anything wrong about it cause all these 10 kilos came from very comfortable, peaceful family lifestyle which makes me happy mom of two, graphic designer's job, where I spend hours by the computer realising my ideas and, of course, having comfortable car. So for me this is just a sign that I live very comfortable, good life without too much stress and I should be thankful for it.

Moreover, I see many women are obsessed with diet and fitness not because they want to be healthy but only for being skinny. It goes so far that we began living in the society where women would divert their energy and focus for their look, rather than trying to change the world and, don't know about you, but for me it sounds sad and scary. Women are sooo self-focused now on producing their bodies to perfection rather than just live from them. Moreover, it's much often women — not men — are these who perpetuate an unattainably skinny body image ideal. Probably you know about "thinspiration" Pinterest boards, which should inspire you to seek being slimmer. It’s obvious there's a pervasive message out there: women MUST be skinny in order to be beautiful.

The pressure is everywhere- magazines, adverts, television- and takes it toll. It leads to women feeling like they're never enough — hot enough, thin enough, sexy enough — for a guy. But here's the ironic thing: it's not men who are doing the majority of the fat shaming. Society has have this unrealistic idea of perfection and we feel held to an unattainable standard - and I simply get so tired and sick of it that decided to appreciate myself as I am without willing to reach these perfection standarts. I even began to see that as much as we don't like/love ourselves, we sometimes begin to inflict it on other women. Moreover, rather than cheer and inspire each other, some women tend to double down on a punitive, unforgiving ideal of how we should look. Have you ever faced this? Cause I do.

21st century is an exhausting place to be, and as the divide between what we're told men find attractive and what they actually do. Can we bridge the gap, shut off the noise and listen to the voices that truly matter? It's unrealistic to think that woman's attitudes towards her weight will lead her to a better, happier life, but these days we're hearing a conflicting message everywhere we go and it pisses me off. And as I can't control the things that have been ingrained in my past, I can surely control the things I choose to believe or listen now. I finally choose to love myself the way I am- with my soft feminine body and wide hips. I assure you, it doesn't mean I grow careless- definatelly not, cause now I take care about myself and my body much more - not because of what others think about me, but simply after my 30 birthday I began realising I shouldn't grudge anything for myself, moreover, I should treat myself the best I can and show more self love for myself. With this mindset I began exercise- not of seeking being thin, but because of my health- I felt my body is slack and I have backaches so I wanted to feel more healthy and sturdy.

So anything you do, do it for you.

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